PROBLEMS WITH LIVING IN LONDON

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Apologies for what has been the desert ground formally known as my blog and all connected social channels – I’ve been moving! When I say moving, I see you all imagining somebody moving from home to home, simple as in a moving van – but my reality was the furthest possible from that and involved a 10-hour long move to and from homes 10 minutes from the other in a tiny Clio. Glam. If you live in London, you’ll probably be aware of how much of a pain it is residing here, and I’m not just talking about the sky-high rent….

  1. Tenancy dates never matching up and being temporarily homeless between contracts (my current issue….) – and you know, super awkward tenants who just won’t move when they’re supposed to…
  2. Living with strangers and the constant domestic spats that come with that (because leaving a teaspoon in the sink for 30 seconds is the biggest housemate crime you could ever commit). It wouldn’t be a house share without the politics that come with it now, would it?
  3. Living with strangers who don’t like Taylor Swift – because come on what is wrong with you, she is an angel.
  4. Paying £600 a month minus bills for a room with mould problems that resemble Old Greg from The Mighty Boosh’s appearance.
  5. Gaining all the weight because you have 5 local Dominos and who needs the stress of grocery shopping when you’re constantly living in temporary housing? Currently spending time hiding from the world behind my beloved Ray-Ban Sunglasses.
  6. Contracts only lasting a year and having a new home every year…. (how am I supposed to Instagram with these generic rental-home magnolia walls that you landlords seem to opt-for?)
  7. Never living anywhere convenient for work purposes because there are so many small towns in London you end up living in 5 different towns all in a 3-mile radius of the one you started in… Not forgetting how convenient it is that each of these towns in such a small radius have completely different transport links……… *detect sarcasm*
  8. The pipe dream that is having a mortgage while all your old school friends from your middle-of-nowhere Northern hometown buy their first house *hey you guys look at me throwing all my money away on rent and pizza I’m a grown up too*
  9. Always having serious competition when it comes to available flats and taking anything remotely appropriate without proper consideration before that guy that viewed directly after you (awkward encounter and side eying) has time to slap down a deposit… Remember the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel attempt to sweet talk the old dying lady for her apartment? Yep.
  10. And last but not least. Landlords. Sometimes they’re good. Sometimes they’re awful. Who needs a hole in the ceiling that seeps with water fixing anyway?